Belly Blues

I am now 32 weeks prego. Yay! Except that there's still eight weeks to go. I am really beginning to think that the gestation period for humans is entirely too long. There was plenty of time to be sick, time to enjoy the kicking and wiggling, and time for people to ooh and aah. Now I'm just fat and bored. And ready. Not that I'll ever be fully ready, but I am sure that I'm as ready as I'll ever be. So I hope these next eight weeks hurry up and pass already!

Here are some of my recent experiences and revelations as a big girl:

• I have a built-in crumb catcher. Last week I was wearing two shirts. After dinner, brushed the crumbs off my belly like normal. Then proceeded to find crumbs in-between my two shirts, and underneath my undershirt. How does this happen???
• I am tired of not fitting places I used to fit. There is a recliner practically in the doorway of our living room that has become the bane of my existence. I cannot walk by without hitting something.
• Speaking of bumping my belly, it is almost impossible to fit into a bathroom stall anymore. The door almost always grazes my belly...yuck! I've resorted to using the handicapped stall as much as possible. On a side note, women are disgusting. I cannot tell you how many women I have seen either not wash their hands at all, or stick their hands under the water for two seconds, no soap, and leave. Gross!
• Cocoa butter (the kind you are supposed to use to prevent stretch marks) smells more like cocoa butt.
  
• Today alone my mother decided to tell me how BIG I am getting, as well as tell the cashier at Cracker Barrel (after she asked us if she wanted to buy jelly beans) that I already have a jelly belly. Thanks, mom. Appreciate the support.
• I am trying to satisfy some of my sweet tooth cravings with fruit. This week I have already polished off a container of strawberries and 1/4 of a watermelon. Even the fruit is better when the weather's warm!