So Long, Dignity

It was nice knowing you. I appreciated my privacy while it lasted. Unfortunately it seems, somewhere during this pregnancy, we have parted ways. I miss you.

Six months ago, I really took my privacy for granted. I could do and say whatever I wanted, and no matter what people thought, they pretty much kept it to themselves. Now it seems everything I do is a matter of public record and therefore open to public scrutiny.

My eating habits haven't changed too much with pregnancy. Sure, there's a little more ice cream involved, but nothing drastic. I'm definitely not "eating for two." Nevertheless, everyone wants to comment on the eating habits of pregnant people (whether it actually applies to me or not).

Being seated at Cracker Barrel tonight, the hostess took me to one table, then stated that I probably wanted more room for my belly, and moved me to another table. (Thank you, by the way. There were fewer people to stare in the other room.)

When I first read the "pregnant" on the test, I was so excited about my little bundle of joy. Little did I know that what I was really in for was nine months with a ravenous parasite who has been executing an extremely well-planned attack on my body. One by one, he has taken over my body part by part, until I hardly recognize the girl in the mirror. The most recent part to fall victim is my back. Every step, turn, sit and stand is painful. I've tried to use a heating pad, but that only works for so long. So I hobble...like a 90-year-old woman. I am sure that I look like there's a reindeer up my butt. No matter how good your hair looks, or how well you are dressed, when you walk like I do, you can't avoid the stares. Would anyone like to volunteer a pair of crutches so that I can avoid the use of my legs as much as possible? I think that might help.